CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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