wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
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Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
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I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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