thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
