I want to have your abortion
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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