I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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