You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
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