once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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