If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
