What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
