And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
