Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Randomize
