we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
