By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
