fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
