he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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