So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
