yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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