just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
