doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
