apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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