HIV tests are more positive than that guy
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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