so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
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I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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