i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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