EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Randomize
