we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Barsexuality is the new black.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
