i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
