OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize