please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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