I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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