You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
