idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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