Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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