I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I forgot wine drunk hurts
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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