Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
