I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
