I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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