I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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