We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize