just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
