Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize