He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize