i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
