is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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