i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
