I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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