AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
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