Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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