Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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