I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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