I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
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no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
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well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
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