I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I think a kid would responsible me up
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
