Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
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