is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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