Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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