I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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