I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Randomize
