the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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