Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Randomize
