i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
