You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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