i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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