Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
