This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
