If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
