Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
