what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
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