No stitches, just platelets and will power
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
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I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
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Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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