so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
