Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
